Well here’s a tribute to that Do Bee vs. Don’t Bee segment, except that these mostly “Don’t Bee” examples rolled off my laptop this morning as I was thinking about some bankruptcy clients. If you want to go broke and end up in bankruptcy, here’s some helpful pointers based on my years of experience:
- DON’T bother opening your mail every day — especially not your bills or bank statements or anything from the IRS. If you don’t know about it, it can’t ruin your day, right?
- DON’T balance your checkbook — it’s just a bunch of depressing stuff anyway. Certainly don’t keep a running balance in there — what a buzz kill it would be to know that you’re about to incur a bunch of service charges!
- DON’T do a monthly budget — just send out the money as it comes in. Bills come in, money goes out. What’s the difference? They all gotta get paid anyway. Don’t worry about prioritizing with your food, shelter, transportation and clothing and savings first. If you take care of Master Card, they’ll take care of you!
- DON’T worry about saving any money. If you have an emergency, that’s what Visa and Master Card are for. Besides, there’s always tomorrow and you’ve got a good job, right? Trust me, it’ll work out.
- DON’T waste your money on health or disability insurance. After all, you’re healthy right? You don’t smoke or eat too much, and you exercise regularly. (Didn’t I see you at that 5k run last week?) It’s not like you’re ever going to end up with a serious illness or get in an accident or anything. That’ll never happen to YOU.
- DO get as much car as you they will let you finance. (Leasing’s a good way to do this. Why drive a beater when you can drive a “Beemer”?) You need something “reliable” — and that means “new”. Besides, your car is a reflection of you and your status in the world, and you deserve it.
- DON’T use cash — put it on plastic. After all, you can use Visa’s money for 30 days or so, preserve your own cash and pay it off in full at the end of the month. So what if they’re betting that you forget to pay it off — you’re WAY smarter than they are; they’re just a dumb ol’ Fortune 100 company.
If you’ve been a “Don’t Bee” for awhile now and want to turn it around, send me an email at email@example.com or call me toll free at 918 409-2462. I promise you that I can help with compassionate and sensible advice, that doesn’t talk down to you or make you feel like a child.
*With apologies to Stephen Covey.